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	<title>PMServicesNW &#187; Project Humor</title>
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		<title>Rules in Project Management</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/rules-in-project-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/rules-in-project-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Dec 2010 23:46:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project management rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project rules]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As cynical as this sounds, most of these actually apply. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. The same work under the same conditions will be estimated differently by 10 different estimators or by one estimator at 10 different times. The most valuable and least used word in a project manager&#8217;s vocabulary is &#8220;No&#8221;. You can con a sucker into commiting to an unreasonable deadlink, but you can&#8217;t bully him into meeting it. The more ridiculous the deadline, the more it costs to try and meet it. The more desperate the situation, the more optimistic the situatee. Too few people on a project can&#8217;t solve the problems &#8211; too many create more problems than they can solve. You can freeze the user&#8217;s specs, but he won&#8217;t stop expecting. Frozen specs and the abominable snowman are alike; they are both myths, and they bolt melt when sufficient heat is applied. The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, and the promise is remembered. What you don&#8217;t know hurts you. A user will tell you anything you ask about &#8211; nothing more. Out of the many possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient one is the [...]]]></description>
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		<title>15 Immutable PM Laws</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/15-immutable-pm-laws/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/15-immutable-pm-laws/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:35:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[immutable laws]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[immutable pm laws]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=293</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[LAW 1 No major project is ever completed on time, within budget, with the same staff that started it, nor does the project do what it is supposed to do. It is highly unlikely that yours will be the first Corollary 1 The benefits will be smaller than initially estimated, if estimates were made at all Corollary 2 The system finally installed will be completed late and will not do what it is supposed to do Corollary 3 It will cost more but will be technically successful LAW 2 One advantage of fuzzy project objectives is that they let you avoid embarrassment in estimating the corresponding costs LAW 3 The effort required to correct a project that is off course increases geometrically with time Corollary 1 The longer you wait the harder it gets Corollary 2 If you wait until the project is completed, its too late Corollary 3 Do it now regardless of the embarrassment LAW 4 The project purpose statement you wrote and understand will be seen differently by everyone else Corollary 1 If you explain the purpose so clearly that no one could possibly misunderstand, someone will Corollary 2 If you do something that you are sure [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The Project Manager’s Creed</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/the-project-manager%e2%80%99s-creed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/the-project-manager%e2%80%99s-creed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Dec 2010 21:31:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pm creed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project managers creed]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=291</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Obsessive, Compulsive Project Manager&#8217;s Creed: If anything can go wrong, Fix It! When given a choice &#8211; Take Both! Multiple projects lead to multiple successes Start at the top then work your way up Do it by the book&#8211;but make sure you&#8217;re the author! When forced to compromise, ask for more If you can’t beat them, join them; then beat them If it’s worth doing, it’s got to be done right now If you can’t win, change the rules If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them Perfection is not optional When faced without a challenge, make one &#8220;No&#8221; simply means begin again one level higher Don’t walk when you can run Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary When in doubt&#8211;Think! Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing The squeaky wheel gets replaced &#169;2012 PMServicesNW. All Rights Reserved..]]></description>
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		<title>Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/09/top-10-reasons-not-to-use-project-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/09/top-10-reasons-not-to-use-project-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Sep 2010 02:06:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top 10 Reasons NOT to Use Project Management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=1433</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[(With apologies to David Letterman) 10. Our customers really love us, so they don&#8217;t care if our products are late and don&#8217;t work. 9. Organizing to manage projects isn&#8217;t compatible with our culture, and the last thing we need around this place is change. 8. All our projects are easy, and they don&#8217;t have cost, schedule, and technical risks anyway. 7. We aren&#8217;t smart enough to implement project management without stifling creativity and offending our technical geniuses. 6. We might have to understand our customers&#8217; requirements and document a lot of stuff, and that is such a bother. 5. Project management requires integrity and courage, so they would have to pay me extra. 4. Our bosses won&#8217;t provide the support needed for project management; they want us to get better results through magic. 3. We&#8217;d have to apply project management blindly to all projects regardless of size and complexity, and that would be stupid. 2. I know there is a well-developed project management body of knowledge, but I can&#8217;t find it under this mess on my desk. 1. We figure it&#8217;s more profitable to have 50% overruns than to spend 10% on project management to fix them. © Copyright 1996, [...]]]></description>
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