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	<title>PMServicesNW &#187; Project Humor</title>
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	<description>Free project management information and downloads</description>
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		<title>7 Famous Project Management Quotes</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/7-famous-project-management-quotes/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/7-famous-project-management-quotes/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Jan 2011 21:59:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[7 Famous Project Management Quotes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2326</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.  -Sun Tzu c. 490 BC, Chinese military strategist  The real problem is what to do with problem solvers after the problem is solved.  -Gay Talese 1932-, American (Italian-born) journalist  It must be considered that there is nothing more difficult to carry out nor more doubtful of success nor more dangerous to handle than to initiate a new order of things.  -Machiavelli 1446-1507, Italian statesman and philosopher  The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.  -George Bernard Shaw 1856-1950, Irish playwright and critic  Tell me and I&#8217;ll forget, show me and I may remember, involve me and I&#8217;ll understand.  -Chinese Proverb  Change is not made without inconvenience, even from worse to better.  -Samuel Johnson 1709-1784, English lexicographer  This feeling, finally, that we may change things &#8211; this is at the centre of everything we are. Lose that&#8230; lose everything.  -Sir David Hare 1947-, British playwright and author of many satires Article source: www.pmservicesnw.com &#169;2012 PMServicesNW. All Rights Reserved..]]></description>
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		<title>40 Rules of Project Management</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/40-rules-of-project-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/40-rules-of-project-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Jan 2011 06:52:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[40 Rules of Project Management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2322</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it. You can con a sucker into committing to an impossible deadline, but you cannot con him into meeting it. At the heart of every large project is a small project trying to get out. A user will tell you anything you ask about, but nothing more. Of several possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient is the correct one. What you don’t know hurts you. There’s never enough time to do it right first time but there’s always enough time to go back and do it again. The bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of making a date is forgotten. I know that you believe that you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realise that what you heard is not what I meant. What is not on paper has not been said. A little risk management saves a lot of fan cleaning. If you can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs, you haven’t understood the plan. If at first you don’t succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried. There are no good project managers [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Rules of Thumb for Project Managers</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/rules-of-thumb-for-project-managers/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/rules-of-thumb-for-project-managers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Jan 2011 05:59:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Project Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[15 Minute Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[5-15 Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[8/80 Hour Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[90/90 Rule of Project Management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rules of Thumb for Project Managers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 1/10 Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 10 Minute Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 100% Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 15% Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 2 Minute Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 20/80 Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 45 Minute Rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The 7 Hour Rule]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2314</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Ray Myers, Jr., PMP A rule of thumb is a principle with broad application that is not intended to be strictly accurate or reliable for every situation -wikipedia. They’re everywhere! There are rules for this and rules for that. It seems that there are rules for nearly every situation in life and business. But, have you ever paused long enough to consider if they apply to real world situations? And, for project managers, do any of following rules still apply to Project Management? What do you think? The 15% Rule If a project is 15% complete and problems occur, the project will stay in trouble through completion. 15 Minute Rule The 15 minute rule states that you should do a task for 15 minutes then take a short break. Then return to the task or start another. It seems that some managers feel this technique improves concentration and boosts productivity. 5-15 Rule The project update email should take no longer than 15 minutes to write and take the reader no longer than 5 minutes to read. 90/90 Rule of Project Management • The first 90 percent of the project takes 90 percent of the allotted time. The remaining 10 [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Ten Commandments of Project Management</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/ten-commandments-of-project-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/ten-commandments-of-project-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Jan 2011 03:36:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PMP Commandments]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ten Commandments of Project Management]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  Thou shalt have a project with a goal Honor thy project objectives Thou shalt commit to the schedule that management hath given thee Remember thy checkpoints Thou shalt delegate tasks to thy manservant or maidservant of staff Thou shalt create a picture or flowchart of thy project schedule Honor thy team members Thou shalt commit thyself and thy team to the project (Blessed are they who take ownership) Thou shalt document extensively and keep thy team informed Thou shalt encourage creativity &#169;2012 PMServicesNW. All Rights Reserved..]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Problems in Project Communications</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/problems-in-project-communications/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/problems-in-project-communications/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 02 Jan 2011 03:13:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project communication problems]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2230</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ Here is the industry standard image that visually displays typical communication problems between the customer, the project manager, engineering, manufacturing and the installation teams. &#169;2012 PMServicesNW. All Rights Reserved..]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>What Your Boss Really Means</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/what-your-boss-really-means/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2011/01/what-your-boss-really-means/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 01 Jan 2011 23:48:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Boss Translation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project communication]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2187</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[His/Her phrase Translation That&#8217;s very interesting. I disagree. I don&#8217;t disagree. I disagree. I don&#8217;t totally disagree with you. You may be right, but I don&#8217;t care. You have to show some flexibility. You have to do it whether you want to or not. We have an opportunity. You have a problem. You obviously put a lot of work into this. This is awful. In a perfect world. Just get it working and get it out the door. Help me to understand. I don&#8217;t know what you&#8217;re talking about, and I don&#8217;t think you do either. You need to see the big picture. My boss thinks it&#8217;s a good idea. My mind is made up. I am adamant on the subject. There is no room for discussion. But if you do want to discuss it further, my door is always open. &#38;%^$ you. I appreciate your contribution. @#%* you! We&#8217;re going to follow a strict methodology here. We&#8217;re going to do it my way. I didn&#8217;t understand the e-mail you said you sent. Can you give me a quick summary? I still can&#8217;t figure out how to start the e-mail program. Cost of ownership has become a significant issue in [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Murphy&#8217;s Laws of Computing</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/murphys-laws-of-computing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/murphys-laws-of-computing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2010 23:52:26 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[murphys laws]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2192</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it&#8217;s probably obsolete. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. When the going gets tough, upgrade. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. To err is human . . . to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked perfectly. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. &#169;2012 PMServicesNW. All Rights Reserved..]]></description>
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		<title>Rules in Project Management</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/rules-in-project-management/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/rules-in-project-management/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Dec 2010 23:46:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project management rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project rules]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=2183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As cynical as this sounds, most of these actually apply. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women. The same work under the same conditions will be estimated differently by 10 different estimators or by one estimator at 10 different times. The most valuable and least used word in a project manager&#8217;s vocabulary is &#8220;No&#8221;. You can con a sucker into commiting to an unreasonable deadlink, but you can&#8217;t bully him into meeting it. The more ridiculous the deadline, the more it costs to try and meet it. The more desperate the situation, the more optimistic the situatee. Too few people on a project can&#8217;t solve the problems &#8211; too many create more problems than they can solve. You can freeze the user&#8217;s specs, but he won&#8217;t stop expecting. Frozen specs and the abominable snowman are alike; they are both myths, and they bolt melt when sufficient heat is applied. The conditions attached to a promise are forgotten, and the promise is remembered. What you don&#8217;t know hurts you. A user will tell you anything you ask about &#8211; nothing more. Out of the many possible interpretations of a communication, the least convenient one is the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>15 Immutable PM Laws</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/15-immutable-pm-laws/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/15-immutable-pm-laws/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Dec 2010 21:35:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[immutable laws]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[immutable pm laws]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=293</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[LAW 1 No major project is ever completed on time, within budget, with the same staff that started it, nor does the project do what it is supposed to do. It is highly unlikely that yours will be the first Corollary 1 The benefits will be smaller than initially estimated, if estimates were made at all Corollary 2 The system finally installed will be completed late and will not do what it is supposed to do Corollary 3 It will cost more but will be technically successful LAW 2 One advantage of fuzzy project objectives is that they let you avoid embarrassment in estimating the corresponding costs LAW 3 The effort required to correct a project that is off course increases geometrically with time Corollary 1 The longer you wait the harder it gets Corollary 2 If you wait until the project is completed, its too late Corollary 3 Do it now regardless of the embarrassment LAW 4 The project purpose statement you wrote and understand will be seen differently by everyone else Corollary 1 If you explain the purpose so clearly that no one could possibly misunderstand, someone will Corollary 2 If you do something that you are sure [...]]]></description>
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		<title>The Project Manager’s Creed</title>
		<link>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/the-project-manager%e2%80%99s-creed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.pmservicesnw.com/2010/12/the-project-manager%e2%80%99s-creed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Dec 2010 21:31:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>admin</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Project Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pm creed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[project managers creed]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.pmservicesnw.com/?p=291</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Obsessive, Compulsive Project Manager&#8217;s Creed: If anything can go wrong, Fix It! When given a choice &#8211; Take Both! Multiple projects lead to multiple successes Start at the top then work your way up Do it by the book&#8211;but make sure you&#8217;re the author! When forced to compromise, ask for more If you can’t beat them, join them; then beat them If it’s worth doing, it’s got to be done right now If you can’t win, change the rules If you can’t change the rules, then ignore them Perfection is not optional When faced without a challenge, make one &#8220;No&#8221; simply means begin again one level higher Don’t walk when you can run Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary When in doubt&#8211;Think! Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing The squeaky wheel gets replaced &#169;2012 PMServicesNW. All Rights Reserved..]]></description>
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